When a person takes the journey of non-duality, it is common to question the possible benefits and changes that might occur. However, there is a misconception regarding this expectation.
The main benefits of non-duality will arrive in the simple form of Peace of Mind. Utterly understanding real Nondualism will bring a beautiful new way of living.
Non-duality is not a practice per se; in essence, Nondualism DOES NOT HAVE TO CARRY any dogmatic tradition along. It is safe to put all that aside. Non-Duality is a simple way of seeing, an explorative approach to the observation of the nature of who we are.
Nondualism is just one of many tools useful for the exploration of the nature of who we are.
The essence of Nondualism is not a concept; however, within our humanness, it is translated as the conceptual understanding that we are all ONE and then acting accordingly to that understanding with compassion, empathy, and love. Whichever path brought a person to this way of living is irrelevant.
What benefits and changes can I expect in life in general from Nonduality?
When we understand the nature of who we are, we begin to drop old mental patterns and beliefs, NOT because we are exchanging them for new ones, but because we discover the field from where all concepts and beliefs are arising. We can call this consciousness or awareness.
You can think of this concept similar to when we go to the movies, and we get hypnotically caught up with the story. We even feel tense and a bit anxious about not knowing what will happen next.
If it is a really good movie, you might also feel fear, your palms sweating, and your heart beating faster.
The moment the movie is in the last chapter, and the story is about to finish and “resolve” itself, you begin to relax. You start to shift on your seat, look at your phone, think about what you will do next, maybe grab a burger, finish your shopping, etc.
Even if the movie leaves you with an unresolved cliffhanger at the end, and you talk about it with your friends or have dreams or nightmares about it, you still begin to “relax” a little when the credits of the movie appear on the screen and the lights of the theater gradually come up. You know it is just a movie.
We are trying to say here that this RELAXATION that came about by the realization of understanding that the movie was not real is very similar to what non-duality brings to your daily life.
Although it has a reality that “you” must honor and engage with, it is only RELETAVLY real; you know that there is much more than the movie playing on the screen.
Stage One of Nonduality: A Freeing Up of Space
The understanding of a nonduality brings a new relaxed sense of presence to your everyday life. You begin to feel a space liberated within you. This relaxation is usually the first stage of the benefits that a person can experience.
Although “you” might still have the SAME FRICTION AND REACTIONS towards people and situations, you will notice that AFTER THE EVENT, the grudges, resentments, or thoughts about the situation begin to diminish to a point where they become nonexistent.
If you’re a person that often has altercations, friction, or fights with other people and you find yourself losing sleep for days or continue to think emotionally about it or feel upset about the situation, you will begin to see that this phenomenon stops taking place.
It doesn’t mean that you neglect or fail to express your feelings or point of views at the moment the situation is taking place; it means that you do whatever you do at the moment, and move on to the next one without playing little movies in your head about the encounter all day long.
If the next moment is “you” eating ice cream, that is all there is in the moment; you are eating ice cream, regardless of the situation that happened minutes ago.
This shift happens on its own, NOT by force, but by understanding a deeper reality, the non-dualistic nature of things. You realize that everything is relatively necessary. Nothing is definite, serious, or as important as once you thought it was.
Having this new way of relating to people and circumstances will free up an enormous space of energy in your life.
While before you spend a third of half of your mental and body’s energy feeling or being upset at past events, now you’ll discover that the weight lifted from your shoulders has freed up a calm and peaceful “space” within you, which you never knew before.
You might find yourself feeling refreshed, healthier, and charged with more energy than you ever felt before, and all of this by the simple act of being present in the MOMENT. We begin to feel the presence of Peace of mind.
Stage Two of Non-duality: A Peaceful New Witnessing
Let us use once again the example of the movie theater. In Stage One of this exploration, we talked about being in a theater watching a movie, and at some point, REALIZING that it is just a movie.
You understand that the movie is only part of your life, that there are more “important” things going on outside the movie theater.
There’s a point that you know for a fact that besides the movie, there’s life going on, relationships, possibilities, emotions, family, friends, ice cream, things to “do”; in other words, your LIFE is more than the 2-hour movie you just watched.
We also explored how this metaphor applied to our daily lives can bring plenty of benefits, from psychological and emotional relief to an all-around new healthy way of living. But that is not all that is possible. Now we move on to Stage Two.
To understand Stage Two, let us go back to the movie theater. We see the same movie; however, this time, WE DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THE MOVIE TO “COME BACK TO REALITY.” This time, we start noticing the reality of what is happening from time to time during the movie.
The “reality” is that we are inside a movie theater, sitting on a chair, looking at images projected on a screen. We are still noticing the movie; we have not forgotten about it, nor neglected our attention, ignoring it, we ADD the realization of the phenomena that is truly taking place.
We include the understanding that the movie is only a part of what is happening. Thus, although we can enjoy the movie’s roller-coaster ride, we no longer fall entirely under its spell. We are now able to take “breaks” form the seductive nature of the Movie playing.
We can now enjoy our popcorn, drinks, and snacks fully; Even fuller than before; now that we’re more conscious and present, we can appreciate their flavors at the moment instead of mechanically shoveling everything inside, sometimes even without noticing it.
Now, from time to time, you’re able to bring your attention to the sensation of your body sitting in the chair, you can look around and see other people looking at the screen, you can admire the theater’s structure, the temperature of the room, etc.
In other words, you DISCOVER that you can enjoy the movie from another perspective. With this “new” discovery, you realize that it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to fall entirely under the movie’s spell.
You will begin to have an even deeper understanding recognizing that the feelings that the movie can trigger, such as fear, adrenaline, anxiety, laughter, excitement, sadness, etc., become almost optional.
Taking this metaphor into our daily lives would mean that now, under this realization, we can have altercations, arguments, and interaction WITHOUT falling entirely into the seductive drama of the situation.
Now we see a deeper layer of phenomena; on Phase one, we realized that we’re able to attend, react or respond accordingly to a situation or person, and at the same time, we are capable of “LETTING IT GO” once the contents of the moment changed.
In Phase Two, another layer of understanding arises. In the same way that we can break the seductive illusion that appears during the movie, we can now bring awareness of presence during a conversation, altercation, or any other situation that is happening, thus becoming less reactive or overly dramatic.
This simple shift will lessen a possible harmful conflict during any case, increasing the possibility of bringing a better outcome at the end. We begin to experience an evermore and constant present state of Peace of mind.
Stage Three of Nonduality: A Permanent State of Peace Of Mind
Let us continue using the example of the movie theater. In this final stage of nonduality, imagine yourself sitting back at the theater; however, this time, you have become more present and aware of your surroundings and all the things we mentioned in Phase two.
Picture yourself in the same theater; however, this time, you are now the main actor in the movie; you are also sitting with the director, all the other actors, and staff involved in the production. It is a private party with drinks and food, and you’re all enjoying the movie.
All there is an appreciation for the art and the result of everyone’s hard work in the movie. Regardless if it’s a drama or a horror movie, and that you might engage emotionally with the end product, the predominating experience is one of gratitude, happiness, joy, and love.
You’re celebrating the magic and miracle of the art. However, you now notice that the drama of the storyline comes as the second priority.
If we take this metaphor and apply it to our daily lives, we see that, in this stage, we are now only able to bring presence and allow Peace to flow during a situation.
At this “level” of non-duality, you suddenly notice that there is a current of Peace that permeates every single space within all experiences of your life.
This understanding does not prevent you from acting accordingly to each situation. If “effort” is needed, the effort will appear; if there is the need to voice out or express your opinion or disagreement, that will also occur. In other words, “you” do whatever you feel is necessary without remorse or hate.
You might even appear to be upset and angry; however, prior and beyond the APPARENT emotion of anger, it is the energy, assertiveness, and the action of “acting” angry that is truly happening.
You will notice that even though you’re displaying a bold and robust personality that others might confuse with anger, you are entirely calm and peaceful within.
People who do not understand nonduality or Peace of mind will never understand how this is possible; perhaps a few who live in the same state of mind might recognize it.
The essence of Non-duality is not a concept; hence it is not understandable. Nonduality must be a non-conceptual experience.
“For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”
We can compare this third and last state of non-duality, like a parent-child relationship. Parents know there is a reason for the child not to eat sugar all day long; the child does not understand, so they might resist and do it anyway.
It is here where the parent needs to show authority to the child by placing them in a “time out” or correcting them in another way. Notice that when a parent is giving this lesson, at no point do they wish harm to their child, nor do they feel hatred towards them.
However, the parent knows that they must act firmly and maintain the needed seriousness, thus projecting the right message and providing a useful lesson to the child.
The understanding of nonduality brings a new relationship with the present moment, primarily with the contents of your mind. Your preferences, opinions, thoughts, and overall personality might not change at all; however, the relationship “YOU” have with them will completely change.
Meaning that while before all of them had the power to direct you, overwhelm you and push you around, now none of them can command or seduce you.
Think of it as a mother calming down a newborn who is crying in her arms; there’s no giving into the dramatic scene; she carefully responds with love and tenderness, contemplating her child until slowly they calm down and finally watching them go to sleep.
This new relationship with your mind will bring a different way of relating to the world and will change how you handle interactions with other people and how you respond to every situation.
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